A Son is Born

Monday, February 27, 2006

It's Monday, January--no wait! it's February now isn't it! February 27th. I can't believe that so much time has passed. Crocuses are blooming, we'll soon celebrate our first anniversary, and Joshua is already more than a month old.

The past month has been amazing. It's been hard to believe that Joshua is actually our son and we are actually parents. The first time we took him to church I kept feeling like this whole thing was a dream that I would soon wake up from and go back to normal. But no, this is the new normal. There's no going back. And to be honest, I don't even want to go back. This new normal is a lot of work, but it's the best kind of work that I could wish for. Taking care of a baby, especially my own son, is such a blessing.

Joshua is a very good baby. He eats well and waits until it's time, he takes good naps, and only gets up once in the middle of the night. He appears to be growing well and has developed "a proper double chin". Over the past few weeks, he has begun to hold his head up more, make eye contact with us, and he even smiles--especially when he's full and content after a feeding. He was precious from the beginning, but every day he makes himself more so.

When I was younger, I always looked forward to the day when I would be married and have kids. I wondered who my husband would be, whether I would have boys first or girls, what we would name them, and what it would be like to be a wife and a mother. It's hard to believe that that day is here. The future is happening. I know now who my husband is and I'm holding my first son, Joshua, in my arms. The whole thing still doesn't feel real, but then, life never does. At least, it hasn't yet for me. I'm finding that it's more important than ever to live each day to the fullest. It's tempting to always be looking forward to the future: when Joshua can sit up, when he starts talking, when he learns to walk, etc. But if you always look ahead, then you'll miss what's happening now, and before you know it, you'll have missed your whole life. So even though I am looking forward to the day when Joshua can do more things, I'm trying to pay attention to all the little things he does now so I don't miss a minute. Instead of spending my time imagining what the future will be, I'm going to live yesterday's future today.

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