To Train Up a Child

In our day, it is rare for someone to take a stand and speak up for an unpopular practice—even if it's a biblical one. Examples include keeping the Sabbath, tithing. . .and spanking. Authors Michael and Debi Pearl are willing to be unpopular—as you can see from the reviews below! Although we don't agree with everything they have to say, we laud them for their willingness to openly discuss the topic of using the rod.

To Train Up a Child offers a biblical defense for spanking as a legitimate training tool. The Pearls hope to help you maintain fellowship with your child(ren) as you discipline, end up spanking less, and still have the results of consistent obedience. They are careful to say that parents should never spank in anger—they should spank only in a spirit of love and with the intent to keep children from greater harm. We don't think they advocate abuse: in fact, we believe that failing to discipline children biblically is a much worse form of abuse! If you disagree with spanking outright, please take a look at the following passages in Scripture: Proverbs 19:18, 13:24, 22:15, 23:13-14, 29:15, and 29:17.

That said, there are people who can take the methods offered here too far, giving credence to the shock of the reviewers below. If control-freak parents take some of the ideas presented here out of the context of loving discipline, those methods could become cruel and unusual punishment. But we believe the problem in that case is primarily the parents and not this book. We, of course, recommend balance and suggest you also read these other titles for additional instruction in child training and discipline:

Old Cover (same edition):

Additional Reading for Context:

• Withhold Not Correction, by Bruce Ray
• Shepherding a Child's Heart, by Tedd Tripp
• Teach Them Diligently, by Lou Priolo

Excerpts from chapter 1:

"We live in a horse and buggy community where someone is always training a new horse. When you get into a buggy to go down a narrow, winding, state highway filled with eighteen-wheelers and logging trucks, you must have a totally submissive horse. You cannot depend on whipping him into submission. One mistake and the young men will again be making several new pine boxes and digging six-foot deep holes in the orchard.

"Parents that put off training until their child is old enough to discuss issues or receive explanations will find he has become a terror long before he understands the meaning of the word. A newborn soon needs training.

"Training is a technique that always works on every child. To neglect training is to create miserable circumstances for you and your child. Out of ignorance many have bypassed training and expected discipline alone to effect proper behavior. It has not worked.

"Disciplinary actions can become excessive and oppressive if you set aside the tool of training and depend on discipline alone to do the training. I observed a proud, stern father, ruling his children with a firm hand, and making sure everyone knew it. His rod was swift to fall, especially in the presence of company. His children trembled in his presence, fearing to incur his displeasure. I wondered why, if he was so firm and faithful to gain obedience, he had not achieved it before entering the public arena. I was impressed, but not in the way he hoped."

Table of Contents:

1. To Train Up A Child
2. Childish Nature
3. Parental Anger
4. Tying Strings
5. The Rod
6. Applying The Rod
7. Philosophy of the Rod
8. Selective Subjection
9. Training Examples
10. Safety Training
11. Potty Untraining
12. Child Labor
13. Attitude Training
14. Emotional Control
15. Training in Self Indulgence
16. Bullies
17. "Religious" Whips
18. Imitations
19. Homeschool Makes No Fool
20. The Flavor of Joy
21. Personal
22. Conclusion